How would this world change, if men weren’t forced to be “real” men anymore?
Reading parts of this interview with Demeter DeLune, you could think she is a philosopher.
Or an investigative journalist. Or a social worker. And yes, she is.
But even more, Dominatrix Demeter DeLune is a greek goddess – using her powers to enrichen men’s lives.
Dominatrix Demeter lives and breathes kink.
Our BERLINABLE resident author brings a lifetime of experience as a dominatrix and sex worker to multiple platforms.
In this interview, Demeter talks about how working as Dominatrix changed her perspective on life.
Why do you believe it’s more socially acceptable for a man to be dominant than a woman?
I think this all boils down to the patriarchal society we reside in.
Out in the waking world, it’s expected that men are in control. It’s expected that they have the power, and run the majority of businesses and society itself.
However, when you dive into the world of BDSM, you find more of the opposite.
A lot of men are tired of having to be in control 24/7. They are searching for a place where they can hand that control over to someone else.
Everyone needs a place to unwind.
What has your experience as a Dominatrix taught you about sex and relationships?
I can tell you, I went into this line of work believing with all my heart I would be learning about other people, more than myself.
I could not have been more wrong.
Yes, I learned about the mechanics of Dominatrix work and the BDSM world itself, but more than that, I realized how important communication is in any relationship.
There will never be a day when I don’t espouse the importance of open and honest communication.
Becoming a Dominatrix was about empowering myself, but in the end, beyond that, I’ve also been able to teach others to tap into their own power, as a submissive and a human.
Intimacy is a big part of the D/s world, whether you’re in an actual romantic relationship with one another or transactional.
Before I began this line of work, I was under the impression intimacy was reserved for the people you were closest to.
Even in a transactional relationship, there’s room for affection and definitely a place for it during aftercare.
How do you think the world would change if men could be more open about their desires to be dominated?
This is a tough one. But honestly, I think it would put a damper on a lot of toxic masculinity.
Toxic masculinity surfaces because men have been told they MUST be strong. They MUST be brave. They MUST NEVER cry. And they must NEVER show weakness.
In other words, they’re never to have any emotion that could be construed as feminine.
If more men were comfortable with accepting those things are not requirements in order to be a good man or a ‘real’ man, I think it would do wonders for not only their self-esteem, but the state of the world as a whole.
When you walk around angry all the time, you lash out. Violence begets violence.
I know that sounds ironic coming from someone who has kicked a man in the balls because he begged her to when working as a Dominatrix, but it is what it is.
Do you have an example of a client whose life changed because of their experience with a Dominatrix and D/s?
The client who comes to mind immediately is a gentleman named Blue.
He was not the type of client I was used to dealing with, as he was fairly submissive in his day to day life already.
What he was not comfortable with, and wanted to work on, was being openly bisexual.
Blue was married, and unfortunately, his wife made it abundantly clear how she felt about bisexual men. Sadly, like a lot of women, she thought of bisexual men as one step away from being gay, unable to truly commit to a heterosexual relationship.
Although she was dominant in nature, she refused to engage in pegging (or anything anal related) with Blue. Anything else he needed, she was fine with.
One of Blue’s biggest fantasies was to be forced, through consensual non-consent, to give oral sex to a man.
After having sessions with him for a few months. And talking with men I knew in the community, we were able to set up a scene where he could get exactly what he needed.
Afterwards, Blue told me it was the most eye-opening experience of his life.
He realized the thoughts of men he’d had for years wasn’t just something he enjoyed thinking about and watching in porn.
It was something he wanted to actively engage in on a regular basis as part of his sex life.
Although eventually, this meant the end of his marriage to his first wife. His time with me allowed him to be open, honest, and free.
I’m happy to report, at last conversation, he was remarried to a lovely woman who not only cheered for his bisexuality, she had quite the dominant streak!
They are happily involved in the BDSM community in their area to this day.
Stay tuned for Demeter’s first BERLINABLE eBooks coming to our platform very soon. Get ready to cherish all her expertise in sizzling hot erotica!
