END OF A DREAM
Lu: And then, I kissed her. Mila’s lips were soft, wet, eager, as always. And hot, like the summer asphalt beneath her. She pressed her mouth against my lips, I felt her tongue caressing mine. And I tasted the blood, you know, this kind of metallic flavor. It was all so surreal. But what really destroyed me at that moment was the other smell… this scent on her face, blending with her sweat…this was… me, my own…taste. I mean, a few minutes ago her tongue was inside me, her face bathing in my liquids…paradise, heaven…and now…deep hell. I cried out, that was a strange sound, like from far away, I just couldn’t hold it back. The old man kneeling next to me looked at me in terror. Mila grabbed my hair, pulled me close. She looked so soft, so vulnerable. Mila whispered, “You know, Lu – so I’ve got edges that scratch. And sometimes I don’t got a filter…But… I’m just so tired of eating all of my misspoken words. I’m just fed up with compromising. Perhaps it is better like this. Better to end the dream here than live a reality that’s not mine. Their reality…”
My tears dripped on her face, forming a little puddle in the corner of her mouth, before disappearing between her beautiful lips, coming back as small pink bubbles, every time she exhaled weakly.
Her energy was leaving her; I could tell from the empty look in her eyes. And I thought, “God…this is all my fault! Why do I never listen to my intuition? I should have stopped this right at the beginning…”
Arian: And Lu wanted to stop it. When we were waiting in the hotel in Mitte, at this noisy rooftop bar with all the people, she wanted to cancel.
“I just feel strange about this,” she’d told me. From today’s perspective, yes… I had pushed her into this. And yes, she’d just agreed to do this for me. And now she wanted to stop.
Okay, I knew that her intuition is like a Swiss clockwork: Always right. But hey, this was my dream finally coming true, right? I had arranged everything, found Mila online, fixed a date, booked this hotel, now I was so close! And all of a sudden Lu wants to quit? For what? A feeling? What should I have done at that moment?
Lu: Quite easy. As always, more use of your head, less of your dick, dickhead. I mean, what is that? A date with some online slut? That’s your dream? Really?
Arian: Why slut? She wants fun, some erotic adventure, that’s all.
Lu: Negotiating sex with complete foreigners online, that’s fun for you? Just because all you digital junkies have forgotten how to date right, you order sex like a pizza and then think, “Whoa, cool, what a great erotic adventure I’ve just googled!”
I consider erotic adventures as something with style… Two people meet, get vibes going, build up atmosphere, get in the mood, talk, fuck.
First brain, then dick, understand?
Not the other way around, like half of Berlin seems to do: Urban quantity sex.
I mean, what kind of weirdo meets foreigners in a hotel for anonymous fucking, risking to get raped and killed?
That’s sick. Not just her, both of you. By “online slut”, I mean also you.
I don’t Tinder to get laid – that’s your style, not mine.
Arian: But to get laid, online is the easiest way. Why can’t a woman just use the most efficient way to get sex? Why does this reduce her value?
Lu: It’s not about “value”, you macho! It’s about… why a poor girl has to search for sex online? And how often do you need this? Are your sex dates so bad that you have to get new ones every week?
C’mon, go out, find someone you like, under normal circumstances, build some kind of bond and then have good sex – often! That’s an erotic adventure, not anonymously fucking around with changing internet dates.
Arian: She probably would have had sex with us, even without the online dating procedure. And what do you mean with “normal circumstances”? Us, going to a bar, getting drunk? Then we introduce ourselves and ask her, “Hey, we don’t know each other, but let’s talk a bit, see if we can build up an erotic atmosphere together and then, what about a threesome?” That’s your style? Really? That we get drunk together first, so that it feels “normal” to agree on sex?
Lu: We don’t go to bars to search for dates. And we don’t get drun…