I’ve had a few relationships in my life and, in most of them, I ended up facing the same problem. With time, sex became… boring. Of course, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, but for me it is a big deal. Sometimes, it’s normal for two people to be in different moments, sexually speaking, but in the end, there must be a kind of harmony.
I’ve been dating Júlia for three years and that problematic moment hadn’t come for us. I was hopeful that, in the end, it wouldn’t happen with her and that my relationship would continue to be great. Until, this year, before Valentine’s Day, I feared we might be reaching a dead end.
We always tried to do something special on events such as that. Last year, we went to a restaurant we loved, and then we watched a movie at her place – actually, just the first thirty minutes, since we started an unplanned sex marathon that went on the following day.
We had really cool moments and that was a very special night for our relationship, because in the middle of all the fucking we started talking about some of our fantasies and what we wanted to explore in bed.
Today, when I realize we needed two years to feel comfortable to talk openly about our preferences and desires, I wonder how much damage our society has done to our own sexual lives.
Anyway, after that great Valentine’s night, we tried many of the fantasies we had during the course of the last year. We started with simple stuff, such as using sex toys. I bought a cock ring and a dildo that stimulated both of us, among other things. We also did lots of role-play, which I enjoyed a lot, and we filmed ourselves having sex. We wanted to try all our fantasies together and that was a real boost to our sex life. For that reason, I was feeling rather safe.
However, just a few weeks before our third Valentine’s Day, I asked if she wanted to try a different fantasy on the special date.
– Maybe some role-play? – She said tentatively, with her mind clearly in another place.
Something was off. I mean, by the look of it, no one would say there was something strange between us. We were on my couch, her head was on my lap and I caressed her hair. It looked romantic and intimate. But I know my girlfriend. I can read her eyes and her tone and I always know when she’s not telling me something, even if I can’t figure out what it is. I insisted:
– Shouldn’t we do something different for Valentine’s Day?
– Yeah, I guess you’re right… What do we still have on our list? – She took her phone to check the list of fantasies we’d written together.
The list was my idea, of course. I have Venus in Virgo, and apparently that means I like to have everything planned and organized in my relationships, especially in bed. Also, it means I’m very critical, which is an aspect I’m trying to work on. Feel free to judge me.
– We could have sex in a public place…
– That’s good! Do you have any place in mind?
– No… Do you? – She answered, clearly bored. I had many places in mind, but she didn’t seem excited about it at all. What was wrong?
– Are you okay, love?
– I’m great! – She changed her attitude, gave me a lying smile and I knew I had to do something.
And then it occurred to me: most of the fantasies we had tried were mine. Not because I didn’t want to try hers, but because I apparently had more fantasies than her.
But did I? I’ve never thought about it, but maybe she didn’t feel totally free to tell me about some of her fantasies. After all, I’d been raised in a very conservative environment and it was only in the last years that I was starting to get loose, mostly thanks to her. I had to show her I’d be up to anything she wanted.
– How about we don’t do anything that’s on the list? – I asked, covering her phone with my hand. She frowned.
– So, we don’t have sex on Valentine’s Day?
– Tell me a fantasy you didn’t write down there.
– C’mon, you can tell me.
As she looked somewhat tense, I did the best thing I could think of to ease the mood: I tickled her. She started laughing and complaining, as she always did.
– Stop! Stop!! Only I can do that, not you!
She tried to tickle me back and our struggle went on. I finally gave up, when my face was already wet with all the tears that came out with my laughs. I thought my strategy worked, because she then sat up straight and looked at me.
I remember thinking ‘well, here we go, she’s gonna want to have me watch that stupid handsome neighbour fuck her or something like that.’ But she still didn’t say anything.
– You know you can say it. What’s the point if you don’t feel comfortable with me?
– I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to fuck someone. I mean, to penetrate someone.
I was expecting many things, but not that.
– To penetrate like… with your fingers? Or a dildo?
– I don’t know. It’s like I wanted to have a perspective from the other side.
– So you want to penetrate… me? With a strap-on cock? – Maybe my tone wasn’t the proper one, because she was quick to answer:
– No, not you! It’s okay, don’t worry. I’m j…